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holidays

Perfectly Imperfect

This morning, before work, I drank a decaf latte’….. this afternoon, after work, I popped a Clomid. And this evening, on the drive home from my acupuncture appointment, I contemplated how I can let loose and let go and stop being so uptight…. my gawd, I am a woman who spell checks her drunk emails.


I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to de-anal my anal… but I think that for the sake of my tense neck, and my relationship, I’m going to have to start letting things go. Shake the crazy out a bit and just live.


The irony of this is that I’m a failed perfectionist, because the perfection is not what is accomplished, but the expectations that I put on myself in my mind. I can never live up to the to-do list in my brain. So I am always behind in what I want to be and where I want to be….


SO, my assignment, should I choose to accept it… is to de-anal my holiday season. I figure that’s a good place to start, since gobble-gobble day is fast approaching. I will let myself off the hook and just figure that my house is NOT going to be perfect for the arrival of the boyfriend’s mom’s week long stay… to balance things out, I will play a marathon of “Hoarders” on the TV and my house will look pristine by comparison!


And yes, I was not kidding… I did take Clomid. I figure why the hell not. My doctor, who presumably went to medical school, prescribed it…. and it was sitting there, all pertty like, and I’m supposed to take it on day five of my cycle… and low and behold, it happened to be day five. Soooo… I took it. And will take it again and again, for the next few days. AND maybe, just MAYbe….. something will happen.