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Kicking the Cup…

I don’t mean to complain, but it seems to me that in this baby making business  I’m getting the shorter end of the stick. Where I’ve endured surgery, diet, needles, pills, and more than one doctors appointment that had me hearing the phrase, “This might pinch a little bit…”, the only doctors appointment Scott ever had involved porn and there was an orgasm at the end.

AND NOW, after being told by my acupuncturist that coffee (all kinds, even decaf) could cut my fertility in half, I’ve given up coffee. COFFEE!

FINALLY I have some sympathy for Scott. Because while I have to give up coffee, he’s the one that has to deal with an uncaffeinated-PMSy-I’m-STILL not-pregnant me. And that’s when our sticks seem to be a little bit closer in size… Though, probably even shorter. When I’m in THAT sort of mood, I’d be grabbing both those sticks and hitting the crap out of things… metaphorically speaking, of course!

Look at me: Day five without coffee! Yes, it’s true…. I sandy, the self proclaimed Caffeine Queen- Death Before Decaf -Starbucks is my hometown- fueled by caffeine ME…. has kicked the cup!

Someday when the twins* are old enough to ask me, “Mommy, how much do you love us?? I’ll say, “More than coffee sweeties… more than coffee.”

(*Yes, twins. I’ve decided twins are the way to go, since I’m far to old to waste time popping them out one by one!)


Here’s some pictorial proof….

His Appointment:

Scott actually took a picture of the Porn-O-Matic entertainment center... BEFORE he got down to business.

Scott actually took a picture of the Porn-O-Matic entertainment center… BEFORE he got down to business.

And Here is a picture of one of my appointments:

Not having plastic surgery....

Not having plastic surgery....

One Comment

  1. Scott Hildebrand says:

    Don’t worry, I was very sanitary. I did not sit bare-bum on the leather chair, and I washed my hands after choosing a threesome video with the remote.