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February, 2010:

Optomistic Lemming

There’s a great scene in the movie ‘(500) Days of Summer’ where a split screen demonstrates the intersection of expectations and reality. They meet and right when it seems as if they might merge on the same path, they often go their separate ways…..

And so it was with the expectation and reality of my New Year resolutions: They did their meet and greet and almost hung out for a week or two;  though, I suppose it would be more accurate to say that they just discussed getting together. They met at the threshold and exchanged numbers, but reality is screening my calls.

What I’m trying to say is, I’ve not been sticking to my New Years resolutions. Hell… I can’t even remember what they are!

Statistically speaking, I am a lemming. Scan the Internet for various New Year resolution stats and you’ll find that around 90% of all optimistic reolution-ers do not follow through with keeping their resolutions. People can talk the talk, but to walk the walk would mean exercise and that my friends holds the number one spot on most resolution lists (exercise more)…. which means it’s not going to happen!

You might think the blog entry ends here, with my weeping whimper of defeat…. BUT NO! I’m going to go and review my list of resolution’s and come up with a plan-o-action. BRB!

I’m back.

Shit.

This is not going well.

Don’t believe me?? Please join me in taking a little look at the dueling Expectation Vs. Reality of my 2010 New Year’s resolution’s:

In the left corner, you will see Expectation, weighing in at 121 lbs., very svelte… yet curvy and optimistic. In the right corner…., please say hello to Reality! Reality weighs in at 133, remarkably curvy…. less svelte, but still optimistic.

Expectation and Reality shake hands and they’re off!!

Expectation:

Walk the dogs AT LEAST 4 times a week!!

Reality:

I’ve walked the dogs four times….. in the last three weeks.

Expectation:

Cook a REAL dinner at least once a week!

Reality:

I just loaded my freezer with frozen dinners.

Expectation:

Lose 10 pounds

Reality:

Make that 13 pounds, since I’ve gained three pounds since writing the list!

Expectation:

Read more…the old school way!

Reality:

I’ve put a stack of books on my bedside table. They need dusting.

Like I said before: shit.

I AM NOT A LEMMING….. I am NOT a lemming….

To be continued…